It's my way to look back at what life was for me at the time, how many realizations I had, how much I've grown when comparing the past with the present and how grateful I am to be here. 

Let me start with how things were ten years ago. Or at least, how I remember it. 

Seventeen year old me... I experimented with my long hair multiple times. Peekaboo hair color, with the help of my older cousin. Then dyed that part blue, which kinda looked green-ish after a few days. Then let it fade into brown, because the fun hair colors were not really allowed in high school. But later on, I had it dyed reddish brown. (lol.) 

I loved clothes and dressing up in a tumblr-presentable way. I don't know if the choice of words makes any sense. I loved the skater skirts, the ripped jeans, the highwaisted skinny jeans, then styling it with a halter top, a flannel or a "kimono" (as we called it), and also, the t-shirt dresses!!! But during this time, the fashion scene from where I lived was quite limited... I mean, if we were to compare it with today's fashion and themes.

I loved listening to pop music. One Direction and 5SOS have a special place in my heart. But I'm also into Birdy, Marina and the Diamonds (whose songs were my personality at the time HAHAHA) and also, Halsey. 

I didn’t have braces at this time, I didn’t know how to do my makeup aside from slapping on foundation (Lol. Not like I'm great at it now), and I didn't know what else to expect in the tech field... because I only wanted to create, design and work with websites. (All thanks to my experience in Friendster, back when I was 9!)

Also, at seventeen, I was a new kid at school. We were the first batch of the K-12 curriculum, and my previous school didn't offer the track/courses I had in mind. This was my first time meeting new people and it was definitely out of my comfort zone. 

At seventeen, I met my friends, Natalie and Jerick. For the first few days after class, I would find myself hanging out with them. I had adjusted quite easily because of them and we had the best time together. Then we got into a slightly larger circle of friends.

I was still seventeen when we had this activity in class, where we would imagine how our lives would be like ten years from that time. 

I remember taking notes on my iPad, before I started doing a collage of it.

With a hopeful heart, I wrote:

"Ten years from now...

And a decade later... here we are.

I'm a lot older and wiser now. My point of view, interests and opinions have definitely expanded. I have experiences that my younger self probably wouldn't believe easily. But I know she'll be proud of me for a lot of things.

Over the past year, I had a lot of adventures and stories to tell. 

I told you about my Taiwan trip that happened this March (which I haven't published the last part of it yet). It was my first "big girl" trip and my first time visiting the country, as I mentioned. Then this August, I also had a chance to visit Hong Kong again (with my cousins) and I alsoooo got to see Macau for the very first time! (I hope to write about it soon.) 

That ticks off the first point that I wrote and envisioned years ago.

Career-wise... even though I wrote "charot" at the end, it still makes me feel slightly emotional.

Every year, I can't help but gush about how much I've grown and how much I've worked on my skills. Of course, there are challenges, especially when dealing with all these new things and new people. But I still can't believe the multiple times I was recognized for how I did my tasks. I still can't get over all the feedback I received from my colleagues. And I will never get over how proud I am of the tasks I finished on my own.

I'm glad I get to do this and I'm also proud that I get to prove that deep voice wrong about how I am not fit for this field.

I hope to not jinx anything I wrote here, but I'm really proud of how far I've gotten.

In terms of relationships, I've been spending more time with my family and making a lot more memories to keep. My family really makes me feel soooo loved, cared for, and seen. 

I've also been hanging out more (and planning lots of stuff) with my best friends and connections.

Also... I was just at this amusement park last month. The OG trio (Squids!) from senior high has reconnected, which is something that makes me feel so emotional inside and completely carefree on the outside. My younger self felt safe around Natalie and Jerick. And I hope to bond with CJ, Anamie (Je's gf) and Jenzen more too in the near future.

I'm grateful for all of my friends and reading their birthday messages and IG stories make me feel soft. 

They used to be one of my wishes for every birthday, and now I have them in my life.

While still on the same topic, I've also been learning to let go of any grudges and miscommunications that I've quietly held onto. I'm still learning to detach and move forward from situations more easily. I mean... life is too short. I don't want to carry the weight of how someone did me (or someone else) wrong. But even if I choose peace, I still also won't let any form of disrespect cross the line.

I want to continue living as someone full of colors. (This is my blog, what do you expect? Hah!)

I want to experience more amazing things and keep a lot of core memories. 

Here's to screaming while riding the scary rollercoasters for the first time, here's to singing out loud at future concerts and karaoke nights, here's to opening new doors, here's to more events and conventions to go to, here's to more memories with my loved ones.

Here's to having a meaningful life surrounded by people that will appreciate and love you genuinely.

And here's to discovering what life holds for me.

I'm still making up for the lost time. 

But also, I want to enjoy the present.

I'm here to live.