Ah, February. The month of love.
Or maybe for some, it's the month wherein love is heavily celebrated on the 14th.
I'm no expert when it comes to this topic. I also don't really think I'm the best person to talk about it.
but I know better now.
First thing for sure, I don't think my idea of love should be burning red. (Here I go again with the colors.)
Yes, I know that love is a strooooong emotion and can be something so deep. But it shouldn't be crazy, extreme or something that's out of your control.
It shouldn't feel complicated, or confusing, or intoxicating.
Ever since I was younger, I've been invested in happily ever afters - thanks to Disney. And as a teen, I used to read and write love stories. Well, I guess you could say that I'm a hopeless romantic. (well... I was just watching some good ol' romcom movies earlier.)
I don't really regret showing the genuine lover girl in me. But that made me realize a lot of things.
I had my "standards" set before. I have my own expectations and knowledge of how it goes, but I guess I was too hopeful and too full of life that I didn't notice that a certain time was quite devoid of colors back then.
Love isn't gray.
It isn't dull. It isn't cold.
It shouldn't feel like there's so much space between two people.
It shouldn't feel one-sided at times. It shouldn't feel confusing. It shouldn't feel like being tolerated.
I grew up in a family where we hug and bid each members "goodnight" before going to sleep.
I grew up in a family wherein we have "pasalubongs" whenever one of us goes out to do a quick errand or to meet a friend.
I grew up in a family wherein we bond through good food, jokes, stories, traveling and other hobbies we had in common.
I grew up in a family who loves making and keeping memories. Hence my love for taking pictures.
I grew up in a very supportive family. We always look out for each other.
I grew up in a family wherein any act of service doesn't feel like a chore or anything similar.
I grew up in a family who never forgets the little things, maybe even as mundane as my strong dislike for cheese, how I don't like being rushed or how I prefer my drinks.
I grew up in a family wherein there's no competition and comparison between us.
I grew up in a very loving and humble family.
I am so thankful to be a part of this family. (I could go on and on... Maybe I'll talk about it somewhere else.)
Since my teenage years and up until now, the present time,
I did say in the previous blog posts that I'm an introvert. I wasn't in large friend groups but I met and am surrounded by really great people.
I have friends who are always there for me too, during the tough times and the great ones.
And as the saying goes: Shared joy is double joy, while shared sorrow is half a sorrow. :)
I have friends to make plans with and make us look forward to a lot things and events.
I have friends who pays close attention, I have friends who support and doesn't compare.
I have friends who I can enjoy lots of movies, music, literary works and artists with. (And if she sees this... Thanks for the kdrama reco! I just finished watching 25 21!!)
I have friends to share interests with, and friends who wouldn't judge the things I enjoy spending time on.
I have friends who trusts me wholeheartedly and who never gets tired of listening too.
I have friends who don't drift away, even if we don't talk all the time. I have friends who understand. We've been together for so long and the bond got so much stronger.
Ah. I'm deeply grateful for my friends. :)
Re-reading these reminded me of the love languages...
It reminded me that love is never inconsistent and it will never make you feel like a burden. It isn't and shouldn't be cruel.
It shouldn't make you feel less as a person.
It shouldn't make you feel all the unpleasant things and make you think that's what you deserve in life.
I like observing people and also revisiting memories (only when I'm ready).
I like getting these sudden realizations or "light" thoughts.
I realized that... well, we have different values and beliefs. We also have different perceptions about life and connections, just like how we have different interests.
But wherever I go, I realize that I am surrounded by love.
Or wait. I'm not just surrounded by love.
I am full of love.
and no one can tell me otherwise.
not anymore.
