Year 2018.

I was a freshman. 

I was an Information Technology student. I was referred to as that shy girl with braces during the first two years of college... Paolo told me about it.

For the first few days of class, I did my best to be less introverted. I remember initiating a small talk with Jenina during the orientation... I really felt nice when she brought it up in the conversation, I saw that as an accomplishment. haha

I guess I somehow keep losing the "confidence" of going out of my bubble whenever someone tells me that I'm too quiet. I don't blame them though, it was my fault that I took it as a bad thing. I felt like being soft and quiet is a weakness I'll never get over.

quick snap taken in 2018.

Another thing I had in mind was the thoughts and doubts of my own skills. 

I was torn between taking up Information Technology or Multimedia Arts for college. 

I wanted to create different forms of art and I wanted to be an animator. But at the same time, I feel like I would've wasted two years of education if I chose that path...

I used to talk about it to this person. As a girl who remembers every tiny detail in life, I could never forget the words they used in our conversation. This is a reminder to choose your words wisely.

They told me that this course I took was not meant for me and I am not a great fit for this path. (Ouch.)

They asked me why did I choose this path. And told me that if I don't have any inspiration, I'm definitely bound to have a hard time. (Very reassuring, I know.)

They told me that interest is different from passion. (True.) And I should be wise in choosing as it would affect my future. (Also true.)

I used to walk around the campus by myself, by choice. I do that to organize my thoughts and to get ready for the next classes, especially if it's those certain classes wherein the professor randomly picks a student to present. (I'm always the lucky one who gets called so... you probably get my point by now.) 

If I'm not strolling around, you'll probably find me doodling (or taking a nap 😆) in the library or in the chapel. When I couldn’t sit still or am too worried about some moments, I found peace inside the chapel.

The Chapel. Photo taken around 2019.

My usual seat. Photo taken around 2019.

Year 2019.

I got out of my shell little by little when I exposed my creative side. This was the year I got back to my art roots, and I felt supported by the people around me. :) I'm so grateful.

I had this quick conversation with my Rizal subj professor. He saw me doodling and complimented my work. He also asked me to draw him so that he can have an artwork made by me... something he can brag about in the future since he sees a bright one for me. :((((( 

Of course, I gotta talk about the swimming classes too. 

Photo taken on our last day of swimming classes :p

To be very honest, this was one of the classes that I did not look forward to ever since I got into the university. I was too scared. 

But I have to survive: I did my best to not drown every session and I did my best to get good grades. 

I'm really grateful for my classmates for helping me out. Especially to my friend who waited for me when I got the sermon of my life while I was doing back strokes across the pool. (It sounds funny, I know. 🥲) I appreciate you/them a lot... I don't think I got the chance to tell them personally. 

Year 2020-2022.

The pandemic happened. 

no filter. i love how this quick snap turned out

This was the last memory I have before classes were suspended and before lockdown. This was after P.E class and we were about to go home.

The years passed too quickly as the classes were only held online. Sayang din because I was already in my third year. I wanted to meet my new classmates. I wanted to meet new people.

After two years of onsite classes, the next time I was in the university was… for our grad pictorial. (if I remember correctly) 🥲

Fast forward to 2022, I was applying for internship in this great company. I'd say my application went well and was offered for a job. I was ecstatic!!! 

But... I couldn't jump to that position yet, graduation was a few months away and I needed 300 hours to render for the internship.

Long story short, I applied to a different company wherein we mostly handled web development and PHP related activities. :)

And I graduated college!

BIT11's shy girl with braces, out! (2022)

since first year

:)

Year 2025. 

January.

We went to the university to get my yearbook before going to my uncle's house. 

I was excited to drop by. I saw it as a chance to appreciate the past, hence the blog post.

I had so much thoughts, so much memories and so much feelings. These were some of the things I have in mind:

"This was where we used to drink coffee, eat kwek kwek and fries." 

"This was where I used to eat noodles!" 

"This was where I used to buy ice scramble!"

"This was the Kulpy Chicken I looked forward eating!" (But didn't get to eat much of it though. 🥲) (And unfortunately, it was closed when we were there :( )

"This is where I wait for the taho!" (Sad... I never got to try the strawberry taho...)

"This is where I took photos for my math assignment... and where I found the pretty butterfly."

"This is where we ran a few laps, and this is where I stayed before swimming classes started."

"This is where I spent most of my vacant hours." 

… I was here again. 

I was standing inside the chapel. I wasn't able to stay for a while, but I'm glad I got to see it again. (This is probably the last time too... I don't think I have any reason to go back to the university.) 

Years ago, I used to sit on the left side, near the window. I didn't really get to attend the masses held there but since it was always open, I got a lot of time to talk to Him. And every time I do, I feel lighter and better.

I had goosebumps thinking about the old times... The situations I was in, how I handled it, how I was back then and now.

Which is basically the reason why I wrote another lengthy blog post... I had realizations over my short-lived college life. 

Though I do have regrets about the two (well... face-to-face) years. I wish I enjoyed my experience more... I wish I didn't have to think about someone else's opinions about me. I should've let it all go. (Just like how I stapled the year 2018 in my old journal. haha.)

But I'm keeping all of these in mind for whatever the future holds for me. And to not repeat the things I did. 

I'm still here reminiscing the old days and am able to feel okay now... You know as they say, time flies and time heals.

I no longer see my softness as a weakness.

Oh and guess what?

I'm currently working as a programmer at the first company I mentioned earlier. I just celebrated my second year anniversary. 

Oh life, you're really full of surprises.